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The topic of cancer is often a sensitive subject, as a friend or a loved one, it can be difficult to know the best approach to support your loved one. However, the support of family and friends plays an important role in a cancer patient’s journey, so it’s good to identify an effective approach. Here are some tips from the American Cancer Society on ways to support a loved one through their cancer journey.

Be a Listening Ear
When talking with someone who has cancer, the most important thing you can do is simple. Just listen. Take time to listen and understand how they feel. Don’t try to assume how they are feeling or try to rush them into a conversation they are not ready for. By letting them talk in their timing opens the door to authentic conversations and lets them know you are someone safe they can share their feelings without an unwanted opinion or judgment.

Asking the Right Questions
Along with listening, knowing the right questions to ask creates an organic prompt for them to open up about areas they may not have been comfortable bringing up on their own. You are not forcing them to have a conversation, allow them to share as much or little as they are comfortable with. One of the key ways to facilitate open communication is not only to ask “How are you feeling?” but also “What are you feeling?” “Fine” or “good” are often a response to the first question, following up with the second digs a little deeper into what your friend is processing.

Offer Your Time and Resources
Getting to and from treatment is challenging for some. Sometimes, their health doesn’t allow them to get there on their own. It can be hard to ask for help in an already vulnerable situation. Approaching them with the offer of help alleviates that awkward conversation and opens the door for your loved one to share their needs.

Everyone, no matter how emotionally strong they are, or self-sufficient they feel can use support, even if it’s just knowing someone cares for them. Try to understand what your loved one is going through by listening and offering a helping hand and encouragement along the way.

If you have been diagnosed with cancer, the holiday season can be a difficult time. What often comes as a stressful time of year, is further escalated with the news of cancer. It can be both physically and emotionally draining. Allow yourself to get in the holiday spirit and enjoy the fullness of the season with these recommendations from the National Cancer Institute, Center for Cancer Research.

Be okay with not feeling okay. Be in the moment, and identify when your thoughts or emotions don’t match with others’ emotions in the moment. For example, if you’re in a happy moment, and you can’t enjoy it, take a step back to check in with yourself. It’s good to try to share in happy moments and find joy for yourself, but you are allowed to feel your real emotions, give yourself time to cry and reflect if you need to.

Have a go-to list of friends and family for support. Make a list of trusted people in your life who you can talk to when you need someone to listen to your concerns. Find people who will be able to be the support you need, a listening ear, a smile, or a word of encouragement. Bring a support friend or family member along with you to holiday events, or when you feel overwhelmed or stressed, call someone from your list.

The food you eat makes a difference. Eating a balanced diet gives your body the nutrients it needs to function correctly, not just physically, but emotionally as well. Limit sugary foods and alcohol to avoid dips in your energy. Plan your meals or eat before attending parties and events if you think it will be difficult to stick to a balanced diet.

Ask for help. Hosting can be overwhelming, especially if you are going through treatment. If holiday traditions take place at your house, make the adjustments you need to accommodate for your health. Suggest a potluck instead of cooking dinner for everyone, or ask friends or family for help preparing. They can help wrap presents, clean the house or cook.

Take time for self care. Find activities that help you feel good and relax. Try new things and set routines. Go for walks or runs, try dance classes or painting, get a massage, find what you like and make time for it. While you make time for relaxing activities, also be aware of what activities add stress. Don’t overexert yourself, be okay saying not to things or taking a break from routines. Allow yourself to take small steps to complete tasks and do what you can to preserve energy.

Don’t be hard on yourself. There are a lot of things that are out of your control, be mindful of your self-blaming thoughts and instead be positive and focus on things you can actively control.